Monday, September 29, 2014

Little Room of Horrors



They were easy on me the first week, perhaps a little too easy. The worried staff wondered if they would overwork me and consequently trigger an excruciating trigeminal attack. The opening exercises were easy; it felt like it was going to be a total milk run during the first week of this so called intense neck rehabilitation.

My exercises were all completed and I waited to be put into traction, but first I had to enter a little room. It was innocently looking enough. A maroon and a burgundy table with big plushy beds sat parallel to each other. Don’t be deceived, I would soon find out that those are the torture beds. Patients like to call it the torture chamber. Me? I call it the Little Room of Horrors.

The doctor walked in sporting a half crazed smile. It reminded me of the Cheshire cat. “Ready B?!?!?” he excitedly asked still wearing that crazed smile. He clapped and rubbed his malevolent hands together before motioning to one of the beds of deep red.

He’s sadistic. He takes great joy in inflicting pain on his patients. He tells you to relax your neck, and cracks it. If it’s not loud enough he’ll do it again! While you’re lying on the bed in misery he’ll use it as a distraction to tell you to move your head. You’ll do it and he’ll crack the other side! “Oh, that was good!” he’ll exclaim as he again claps his most malevolent hands while you writhe in agony on the table.

Split seconds later he’s giving your neck a karate chop! He victoriously pumps his hands into the air as you slowly retreat into the fetal position. You’re too busy praying to notice him grabbing his crony arthrostim. The tool is nothing more than a miniaturized industrial jackhammer; all designed to maximize your pain experience. He’ll use it to pummel your poor back. Oh the perfidy!

He’ll stop and tell you to get up. I can confess that you’ll be too woozy to resist and succumb because you think it’s the end. It’s the end alright, the end of your sanity. His hand will cup your chin and he’ll pull you back into the demented tool of his. Fiery streaks of fire rip through your rib cavity as he continues to pummel your back and then neck.

You’re a mindless walking zombie now. You won’t remember shaking his hand, being banished to the rack, or anything else that transpired in the room. His assistant will lead you to the rack and put you into traction where you will mercifully enter a state of Zen. Total peace as your neck is being bowed in the direction that God designed it to.

Unfortunately I can’t reveal his name. I was tricked into silence when I signed the contract. I didn’t fully read the fine print, forgot to bring my electron microscope with me. However, I can tell you that he played football for a Florida high school with the initials of VB, went on to play for some college named UCF, and now wears polo shirts of those schools as he practices in a sleepy town on the eastern coast of Florida. If you see him…RUN!

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

I Hate a Rainy Night



With apologies to Eddie Rabbit.

Well, I hate a rainy night
I hate a rainy night
Loathe to hear the thunder
Watch the lightning
Cause it lights up my eye
You know it makes me feel bad

Well, I hate a rainy night
I’m such a pitiful sight
Cringe to feel cold rain on my face
Taste the pain on my lips
In the moonlight shadow


Showers washed all my joy away
I wake up to an achy day

'Cause I hate a rainy night
Yeah, I hate a rainy night
Well, I hate a rainy night
Well, I hate a rainy night
Ow! Ow!

I hate a rainy night
I hate a rainy night
Loathe to hear the thunder
Watch the lightning
Cause it lights up my eye
You know it makes me feel bad

Well, I hate a rainy night
I’m such a pitiful sight
Cringe to feel the cold rain on my face
Taste the pain on my lips
In the moonlight shadows


Puts a dagger in this heart of mine
Puts a frown on my face every time

'Cause I hate a rainy night
Yeah, I hate a rainy night
Ooh, I hate a rainy night
Yeah, I hate a rainy night Ow! Ow!

Showers washed all my joy away
I wake up to an achy day

'Cause I hate a rainy night
Yeah, I hate a rainy night
Well, I hate a rainy night
I hate a rainy night

Well, I hate a rainy night
You can see it in my eyes
Yeah, I hate a rainy night
Well, it makes me cry

Ooh, I hate a rainy night
You know I do, yeah, yeah
I hate a rainy night

I hate a rainy night
You can see it in my eyes
I hate a rainy night
Makes me cry
Well, I hate a rainy night
And hate TN too

Well, I hate a rainy night
Yeah, I hate a rainy night
Well, I hate a rainy night
I hate a rainy night

Monday, September 22, 2014

Bald Eagles



I'm a shutterbug, I'll fully admit to that. I'm pumped for the return of cooler weather! I know that's a dangerous thing to say with Trigeminal Neuralgia, I felt every cold front last year. 2013 was a brutal winter for me, but the birds are returning to Florida. I use birdwatching to take my mind off my stupid condition, it's fun and I can spend quality time with my wife.

We've spotted three bald eagles this past week. One soaring over Roseland, another on 58 Ave north of Vero, and one across the tracks at the Sebastian Wal-Mart. Haven't been able to take any decent snaps of one yet, but when I do, I'll post some here.

Photo taken at Black Point Drive in Titusville, Florida Nov 2013

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Bump in the Road



Monday I awoke at 1:10 AM with my head on fire. First thing that crossed my frazzled mind was that I was dehydrated. I drank a 20 oz bottle of water and returned to bed. Sometime later I realized that it wasn't working, my head was still on fire. I took two Migraine Excedrins and went back to bed again.

Few hours later I awoke again, still in pain, but not as bad. I ate my breakfast and took my morning supplements with Gatorade. I debated whether or not to go to work, I went because the pain was ebbing. I pushed water all day, keeping myself hydrated. The pain continued to flee.

Work was over and I went to therapy. The pain radiated into the left side of my face, the treacherous nerve was awakening. I ignored it as I started my neck exercises. I was halfway through them when the pain went from a miniscule one to five. I stopped what I was doing and tapped the wall. A tech asked if I was okay, I told her I was having a Trigeminal Neuralgia attack. My chiropractor immediately took me into the room and adjusted me.

I finished the exercises, but no traction. Needless to say I was bummed. I love traction, I'm at total relaxation, my neck bows the way God designed it to. Total bliss.

It's the first bump in the road, it won't be the last. But I'm hopeful that Wednesday will be a much better day.

Friday, September 12, 2014

2 Down, 10 to Go!



Today marks the end of my second week of intense rehabilitation on my neck. Ten more weeks before I start on my second twelve weeks, my visits will drop from three times a week to twice a week.

I continue to be cautiously optimistic. My Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia pain is ebbing. I still get it, but the attacks are less severe. However, the pain is being replaced by low grade headaches. I’m hoping these low grade headaches are from the tropical system trying to form over the Bahamas. If not, I’d rather have them than the TN attacks.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Football is back!



It's frustrating watching football when you suffer from Trigeminal Neuralgia. The screaming, cheering, booing at refs, and the up and down flow of the game all conspire against you. It's Tuesday and I'm feeling the Patriot/Dolphin game despite my best efforts. Tomorrow I have therapy again so I'm praying that it will help zap this constant ache in my head. Gotta get better because the next Dolphin game is this Sunday!

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Therapy Update



I've completed my first week of therapy on my neck. I think they're going a little too easy on me. I'm not experiencing the pain they said I would be. Speaking of pain, hardly any trigeminal pain today. I'm optimistic, I know I still have 51 roller coaster weeks ahead of me, but I'm extremely optimistic.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Does Your Pastor Smoke Weed Too?



I am not here to throw stones or point fingers, but I think some readers need to consider prayerful introspection when the topic turns to medicinal marijuana, and research the facts with an open mind.

I am a Christian. I grew up in church as well as the church’s elementary and high school. I learned my ABCs along with my Bible verses, accepting Christ as my Savior during my senior year of high school. I was taught that drinking and dancing were bad, rock n’ roll was the Devil’s music, and marijuana was his weed. That was that. End of discussion.

During my adolescence, I vividly remember something that stuck with me to this day. I was watching TV one afternoon with my mom, and one of the local Miami stations aired a piece about that vile evil weed marijuana and how it was helping glaucoma patients. I questioned my mom and she said it was true; marijuana does help people with glaucoma.

Needless to say, I was greatly confused by this seeming contradiction. I pondered how cannabis was called the Devil’s weed when it was helping people keep their vision. An item cannot be good and evil at the same time; it has to be one or the other, or totally neutral. That news clip is something I’ve never forgotten; a chink in the armor had appeared.

Another piece fell off in 1990, my first year in Bible College. A guest speaker was visiting during chapel and I still haven’t forgotten what he said, for he stunned many. American Christians had some major flaws in their thinking…drinking alcohol wasn’t a sin! He went on to tell how great leaders in the faith drank alcohol. One leader went as far as telling a nun he loved her because she made the best beer in Germany! However, he reminded us that the sin is being drunk, not drinking the alcohol.

Later I learned that young American missionaries assigned to Europe are sent to specific places so as not to observe mature European Christians drinking wine or beer. The culture shock was too much, and many returned to the U.S. and/or became extremely self-righteous when they witnessed other Christians drinking.

In the early 90s, I was in the beginning stages of my Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia; episodes were sporadic. I thought the pain I experienced was simple headaches. The pain continued to strike, increasing in intensity before exploding in April 2007 to full Type 2 TN.

I have been prescribed three successive pain pills, all of which did hardly anything to relieve the agonizing pain. I began taking the first one in July of 2007; I don’t remember the name but I remember the side effects. I walked around in a daze. I felt something run from the back of my eye towards the back of my skull, which would be the trigeminal nerve for those of you reading in Port St. Lucie. I couldn’t stop yawning at times. I wore long-sleeved shirts to protect against sunburn. This was in the brutal July heat in Florida and I’m a redhead. A few days later, I couldn’t go to the bathroom and I was off pill number one.

Five years later, the doctor who officially diagnosed me with TN put me on Carbamazepine. No matter the dosage, I would still be in pain. I broke out in a rash several weeks later and I was off Carbamazepine.

I couldn’t immediately stop taking it, however, I had to decrease the dosage as I started a regiment of increasing doses of my new drug, Gabapentin. Nothing out of the ordinary happened until I finally took a full dose. The next two nights I dreamt of nothing but murders, stabbings, and being followed. But it would get worse. As with Carbamazepine, I couldn’t stop immediately. I had hellish side effects while weaning myself off Gabapentin, including an excruciating ache in my left cheek. I cried out to God. If I were going to be in this much pain for the rest of my life, I begged Him to go ahead and take me now.

Weeks later, I was reading several online articles, and ran across one about a father giving his little child, who was suffering from over 200 seizures a day, cannabis oil. The seizures reduced to two to three a day. I read how it was helping military personnel returning from Iraq and Afghanistan cope with PTSD. I also read that some of our Founding Fathers were hemp farmers. Apparent benefits aside, I still wasn’t ready to “take the plunge” when I was asked if I wanted to try medical marijuana for my TN pain.

Two months later, after more weeks of painful headaches and sleepless nights, I was asked again about medical marijuana. I accepted at the speed of light. I was given four cookies, one brownie and one chocolate donut. I ate half a cookie a day for eight days and it was wonderful. My eyes became heavy, and any trigeminal flare-up was killed immediately. I slept peacefully for the first time in months, and awoke pain free.

The donut just let me sleep; it was a dud.

The brownie was two doses, so I halved it again, totaling four doses. The effect of this, too, was to make my eyes heavy and enable me to sleep restfully. A mutinous flare-up was quickly dispatched and I slept without pain. I did awaken to pain, but I’ve concluded that was due to an extremely rare Florida cold front stalled over the central part of the state. I was sold.

Despite the propaganda one hears about how cannabis is addictive, and a gateway drug, I can confidently say that these claims are groundless. Cannabis is no more a drug that alcohol (and many of us have experienced the tragic effects of drinking and driving). Once I stopped ingesting cannabis I had no urge to want more, or to take a harder drug. Nor did I have the urge to “freak out” and go wild.

Christians can be willfully ignorant – and I have run across a lot of them lately. I have shared the facts of my experiences and I have been met with many opinions. The negative ones always seem to regurgitate the latest propaganda or talking points, but hardly ever give any facts, a scare tactic that would make the 1930s proud.

I was called a hippie, a pothead, a stoner…with no consideration for the plain facts. Apparently, I don’t know what I’m talking about. Pain pills don’t kill – and, if they do, it’s because we didn’t read the directions properly. Cannabis has no medicinal value. People have stooped so low as to produce a social media ad stating that the cookies I ate are the new date rape drug. I have been insulted more than a politician at a political rally.

One woman called cannabis a vile evil weed. If that’s so, then why did God call it good in Genesis 1:12? And Genesis 1:29? A young man asked me a snarky question, “Does your pastor smoke weed, too?” I informed him that I don’t smoke weed, I ingest it. He reiterated that cannabis has no medicinal value and that, if I researched it, I would find the truth. He sarcastically added that I hadn’t died from taking pain pills. Correct, I haven’t died but let’s ponder some statistics I recently came across during my own research:

• 106,000 Americans die every year from their pain pills. That is the equivalent of four 747s crashing every week. How long would it take for the FAA to ground those jets?

• The US makes up 5% of the world’s population, yet we take 50% of the world’s prescription pain pills.

• Add the OxyContin family into the mix and the US consumes 90% of the world’s pain pills. Unbelievable!

• States that have legalized medicinal marijuana have reported that accidental pain pill overdoses have dropped 25% year over year.

Sadly, there is no compassion for patients suffering from chronic pain. As someone who lives with agonizing pain on a daily basis, I ask my fellow Christians, where is your compassion? Where is the compassion Christ always showed to those suffering in pain? I would hope that we would all rejoice to find an antidote that alleviates the excruciating pain that accompanies many chronic illnesses. Instead, there are those who would add to the patient’s already difficult time by vilifying – and wanting to take away – the one natural remedy that works, all because minds are closed and “facts” are misconstrued.

“And the earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed after their kind, and trees bearing fruit, with seed in them, after their kind; and God saw that it was good.” Gen. 1:12

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Kim's Crew



A lighter entry for today.

Kim's Crew was my first true comic strip, it was based on my experiences with Gold's Gym in Miami Lakes. My precursor to Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia had appeared and my doctor thought my upper back muscles had atrophied instead of being my train wreck of a neck. Thus I joined the gym and met up with a well known 1990s fitness model/competitor.

Thanks to Kimmy, I was in better shape than I was in the US Army. I plan on posting a few strips here and there to help lighten the mood. I also plan on expanding the strips and turning them into a series of short stories. Maybe one day I'll get back doodling a few more of them.