Sports

I have been to numerous sporting events during my brief stay on God's Earth. However, now it is out of the question. My trigeminal nerve could not take the strobing pulsating lights or the loud raucous music played at today's collegiate and professional games. I probably wouldn't last a few laps at a NASCAR race.

The World Cup...I probably wouldn't get inside the stadium without a major flareup. If I would somehow manage to get inside the stadium, the raucous fans, drumming, and the Samba mixing together into a titanic beehive buzz would drive me insane with pain.

Even watching on TV can be tricky. Last year, my Dolphins scored a late touchdown and beat the Falcons, I was pumped. I yelled, jumped, and clapped my hands. It felt like I was sitting in the Orange Bowl and watched Dan Marino leading the Dolphins to victory. My bodacious wife told me I better settle down, I didn't listen. The next few days were pure heck. I only watch bits and pieces now as not to overstimulate my trigeminal nerve.